


Tears

by msinpinitu (Knaija)



Series: Before the First Day of Infinite [3]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Angst, Celibacy, Crying, Feelings, Idol-Verse, Knotting, Loneliness, M/M, Mating Bonds, Pre-debut, Quarrels, Self-Lubrication, Shower Sex, Smut, Withholding Sex, Woohyun has made mistakes, dub con, no preparation, omega dynamics, past wooyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 03:08:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9529154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knaija/pseuds/msinpinitu
Summary: Ignoring everyone wasn't working for Woohyun... especially since his members were ignoring him as well





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sinmolnam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinmolnam/gifts).



> because she's troublesome
> 
> This story is a part of [On the First Day of Infinite](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7697677)  
> So please check it out if anything confuses you, or ask in the comments

Woohyun waited for Sunggyu to return because today was going to be the day. Yes. He was going to come out and tell Sunggyu that he wasn’t leaving Big Dipper anymore. He’d stay. He’d debut with them. He’d be main vocal. He’d accept his responsibilities and –most importantly- he’d accept Sunggyu as his leader.

Except, that all sounded so much better in his head.

Every time Woohyun had made this decision over the past few weeks, believing that he’d finally tell Sunggyu he was going to become a full member, he’d chicken out. He was scared and he was being a coward but what other choice did he have? Sunggyu was ignoring him and he’d never thought there’d be a time when Sunggyu thought of him as the enemy. He’d been trying to do good by himself and yet, somehow, everything had just snowballed into a giant ball of anger and misunderstandings and he didn’t even know what to do with himself anymore.

But it wasn’t all so bad. Howon still spoke to him from time to time. But given the stiff way their discussions went, Woohyun was sure Howon’s hesitation to accept him back was halted by Sunggyu’s decision to pretend he didn’t see Woohyun whenever he walked into a room.

He probably deserved that. He’d gone out of his way to prove that he could survive without Sunggyu… survive without the mating bond pulling at him and hurting him every time Sunggyu left. Not to mention the level of agony he felt each time Sunggyu’s anger or nonchalance was directed at him. He hated the bond. He hated it so much. It had caused him nothing but trouble.  If he wasn’t bonded to an alpha, he’d have been gone by now. But he had waited and waited and waited and now…

Now Sungyeol was back in the house.

Woohyun rolled over restlessly on his mat, wiping tears from his eyes as he angrily remembered the day Sungyeol had returned to the dorm, tall, more imposing and also, an alpha.

The last time he’d seen Sungyeol, he’d accused Sungyeol of blackmailing him into sex. Only, that wasn’t what had happened. He’d been just so mad that Sungyeol had caused him a few peaceful months in the dorm before he left that Woohyun had gone ahead and let Howon punch Sungyeol out thinking that Sungyeol had forced himself on Woohyun.

Now there he was, standing before Woohyun. He looked the same. He was the same. But now, he wasn’t a beta with a confused gait and faux-chic air about him. No. Now he was an alpha with a confident stance and… and that thing that all alphas had that just made omegas like Woohyun want to present himself till kingdom comes.

Which was absolutely ridiculous because Woohyun was bonded to Sunggyu. Without wanting to, he wanted Sunggyu. He wanted Sunggyu to forget everything that had happened so far in 2009. He wanted him to forget the hurtful things Woohyun had said. He just wanted Sunggyu to be nice to him again. But more than anything, he wanted Sunggyu to hold him down and bang his brains out because his omega hormones were going crazy.

He’d gone too long and now, he was lying in bed and waiting because ever since their quarrel, they hadn’t had sex. Not even angry sex. No kind of sex at all. None. Zilch. Nada. And Woohyun was pretty sure if he asked, he’d get turned down. But he’d put it off long enough. He needed to get fucked by something. He’d thought of the heat reliever but even that was Sunggyu’s. If he was going to borrow the vibrating dildo with a swelling base, he had to ask the owner. And if he was going to humiliate himself, why not just ask Sunggyu for his real dick either way?

As the door opened and Sunggyu entered the room, pulling off his shirt and moving down to where he’d hung his towel, Woohyun turned over, clearing his throat. The acknowledgement he received was a brief halt in his actions but Sunggyu soon resumed, taking off his clothes, one after the other.

“How was… how was work today?” He asked, resisting the urge to sit up.

“Fine?” Sunggyu replied, sounding like he was asking a question.

“Good.” Woohyun said. He lay there, looking for how to break the ice or ask the damn question. A few months ago, if he wanted sex, all he had to do was ask but now, his tongue felt heavy and dead and he was going to cry again because hormones and everything was so wrong that he just wanted to scream and-

The room door closed as Sunggyu left to take a shower.

*****

_He’s naked behind the door. He’s naked behind the door. He’s naked behind the fucking door._

Woohyun breathed, listen to the shower running on the other side of the bathroom door.

The first week he’d gone without sex, Woohyun had fooled himself into thinking it was because of his restraint. But then it had grown into two and then three before Woohyun suddenly realized that Sunggyu wasn't turned on either. If Sunggyu got turned on or tried to wank or did anything remotely sexual, then he’d have triggered Woohyun’s hormones and he’d have had no choice but to mount Sunggyu like a seesaw but none of that had happened.

Which meant either Sunggyu had clipped off his balls or he’d been consciously refusing to feel anything… just so Woohyun wouldn’t need him.

He’d cried that day. He’d had to understand that while he was angry, Sunggyu was even angrier. Pissed enough to deny himself the momentary fantasy of anyone that could get Sunggyu stirred up. And Woohyun never really had any power in any of it. He’d just let anger delude him into seclusion. Because all it would take is one boner from Sunggyu and Woohyun wouldn’t have a choice anymore.

_He doesn’t want you. He doesn’t want you. He so fucking so does not want to fuck you._

Woohyun knocked on the door. And then cringed.

“Who is it?” Sunggyu asked, the shower lowering to a stop.

Shaking from head to toe, Woohyun opened the door and peeped in, taking in Sunggyu’s quizzical gaze staring at him from a corner in the shower curtain.

“What do you want?” Sunggyu asked.

“I…” His brain fried again. _I want you to fuck me again._

“Woohyun?” he asked.

Woohyun removed his shirt and Sunggyu’s eyes increased by two sizes.

“What’s this?”

Breathing shallow, he pushed down his shorts.

“Pick your clothes back up and leave.” Sunggyu advised but Woohyun wasn’t going anywhere.

“You’re mad at me. I get it.”

“I was under the impression that _you_ were mad at me.”

  
“I’m not.” Sunggyu raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “I was but I’m not anymore.”

“Because of hormones?”

“Because I’m not leaving Big Dipper.”

He stood there, looking back at his leader, his mate… his friend, who just stood there, his face the blank mask he’d taken to wearing around Woohyun. It was just like the times when they’d just met. When he’d been either an inconvenience or irrelevant to Sunggyu. Now, it seemed he was both.

“Put your clothes back on and leave.” He said, closing the curtain again as he turned the shower back on.

Woohyun blinked, feeling his eyes fill with disappointed tears. He’d been wrong. No matter how much he examined worst-case scenarios, it was never not going to feel like someone took a hammer to his chest. Because he felt like screaming again. He’d put himself out there –after several weeks of pseudo-independence- and this was what he got?

He gulped and bent to pick his shirt when he felt it.

Tilting his head up he leaned against the sink, carefully examining the tingling, excited sensation at the back of his head that Woohyun had come to recognize as horniness… Sunggyu’s horniness.

He laughed and walked forward, pulling the curtains away as Sunggyu shrunk from him, shielding his front, along with his hard dick, from Woohyun’s view.

“You’re turned on.”

“No shit.”

“Then fuck me.”

“No. Get out.”

“Hyung!”

“Oh so it’s hyung now?” Sunggyu said, turning around to face him and thereby giving Woohyun full view of his mouthwatering dick. It also didn’t help that while Sunggyu’s words felt razor-sharp, the sensation in Woohyun’s head seemed to be growing. Say whatever he might, Sunggyu was aroused as hell. And seeing as he’d spent weeks without release, Woohyun was sure much wouldn’t be needed to convince Sunggyu to get on the fucking train –pun intended.

Woohyun climbed in as Sunggyu grabbed the curtain and climbed out, nearly slipping on the floor but as he steadied himself on the wall, Woohyun was already out of the shower, kneeling before him as he grabbed Sunggyu’s dick and shoved it into his mouth.

“Woo –oh!” Sunggyu said, his knees bucking beneath him as he landed on the open toilet seat.

Woohyun sucked the whole length, pulled off and spat the soapiness unto the floor. By the time he was looking back at Sunggyu, he could see that the alpha was now situating himself on the edge of the toilet bowl, giving Woohyun an easier angle to suck him off. But Woohyun wasn’t sure he was ready for more of that soapiness now that he had Sunggyu’s full attention. So he kissed him instead, choosing to jerk him off as Sunggyu responded, licking into Woohyun’s mouth the moment their lips touched.

“Can… I… I want to ride you.” Woohyun said breathlessly.

“No.”

Sunggyu stood, rustling Woohyun around till Woohyun stumbled and grabbed unto the side of the bath to steady himself, facing down and away from Sunggyu.

“I want to look at you.” He said.

“No.” Sunggyu replied and Woohyun would have felt so horrible about everything but soon, Sunggyu was slipping into him, inch by inch and Woohyun’s world just settled around him as he shuddered in relief.

“Thank you.” He said, folding his arms on the bath as his head dropped, angling his hips up so that Sunggyu could slip in, even further.

It had been so long and even though they’d never had sex this way, Woohyun couldn’t bring himself to regret it. He’d asked to be fucked and Sunggyu was batting in from behind, shaking him as he bumped against the bath, trying to feel Sunggyu in his ass, on his back, his fingers digging into Woohyun’s hips… feel him everywhere. It wasn’t as enthusiastic as he was used to but really, who cared? He was getting it and he was going to come and life would be just dandy.

“Aunngg!” He moaned, lifting up to his toes as Sunggyu gave a rather forceful shove into him and Woohyun’s life nearly blacked out. But then he slipped and had to come back to himself to use his hands to stop his head from butting into the floor of the shower.

“Sorry.” Sunggyu said, grabbing him and pulling up till he was standing. Woohyun’s legs felt shaky and bendy so he let his weight rest on Sunggyu behind him as Sunggyu’s hands encircled his waist, holding him up as he licked at the mark on Woohyun’s neck.

A shiver ran through him and he held unto Sunggyu’s hands for support.

I’m going to come. I’m going to come. I’m going to-

Sunggyu bit into the un-healing bite and Woohyun came.

*****

Choosing to ask for sex in the shower had been such a terrible idea, Woohyun couldn’t even defend it by the time he thought of it after he’d come the first time.

Because now, Sunggyu was going to come as well and he was going to knot him and they were going to either be stuck in the shower for an hour or have to sashay out of the bathroom, joined dick-to-ass as they were.

“Hold on.” Sunggyu said, moving Woohyun till he tugged at his right leg. When Woohyun understood what he was asking for, he raised his leg and stepped into the shower. As Woohyun moved, Sunggyu slipped out of him and Woohyun was alerted to the fact that Sunggyu hadn’t even come yet.

“Hyung-”

“Just move.”

Nodding, Woohyun obeyed, standing in the shower as Sunggyu got in. He slipped beneath the still running water of the shower as he sat, urging Woohyun sit. He didn’t even need much convincing because his legs felt wobbly and he really didn’t want to topple over in this hard bathroom with possibly injury-giving tiles on the walls and on the ground.

As he sat, Sunggyu moved beneath him, positioning himself so that Woohyun slipped back on his dick. And he barely had time to register before Sunggyu pulsed in him and he lurched forward in shock.

“Easy.” Sunggyu cooed and Woohyun nodded because, apparently, Sunggyu had no idea how much Woohyun need this… how much he wasn’t trying to get away. He’d merely been shocked but he was only too happy to take a knot again.

When it began to swell, Woohyun relaxed fully, letting Sunggyu bear the brunt of his weight as he leaned back in the shower, feeling the cold water rain down on both of them.

“I’m sorry for everything, hyung.”

Yes, he knew it was a conveniently generalized apology and he knew he wasn’t feeling too brave for anything specific. But he just felt he had to say something. They’d be stuck here for an hour, what else was he supposed to do?

Sunggyu didn’t reply.

“I shouldn’t have said those things to you-”

“No offense, Woohyun,” Sunggyu finally said. “But I’m not really ready to hear this right now.”

“We’re stuck here, hyung.”

“Which is why I didn’t want to do this at all.”

He sighed heavily behind Woohyun and Woohyun felt like crap.

“I was desperate.” He said, deciding to go for a little truth. “It had been too long and I…” Yeah, he couldn’t go further than that. His chest was already beginning to burn with the pain and shame of being shut down relentlessly ever since he got into the bathroom.

“I hate you so much right now, Nam Woohyun.” Sunggyu said, his arms encircling Woohyun’s waist as Woohyun’s eyes flew open in hope.

“I deserve it, hyung.” He agreed. “I’ve been selfish and… and I’ve been rude to you. And to everyone. And tomorrow, I’m going to tell them that I’m not leaving.”

“I’m pretty sure everyone already knows you’re not going anywhere Woohyun.”

 _Ouch,_ he thought, refusing to physically wince.

His big reveal was gone then. He was going to stay and no one else was going to give him a chance. Perfect.

“I should have told you about YG and JYP.”

“What is this, Woohyun?”

“I’m trying to apologize.”

“Why? Why now?”

“Because…” where should he even start from.

“That’s not an answer.”

“We’re going to debut as a group, hyung. I need you all on my side.”

The bathroom remained quiet except for the raining of the shower above them.

“The real reason?” Sunggyu asked.

Woohyun had to close his eyes. Because here he was, being more vulnerable than he’d ever been in his life but that was still not enough. Sunggyu didn’t want his readymade answer. Frankly, Sunggyu didn’t deserve that answer, either. Why was he apologizing? Because he’d been wrong? Because he was tired. Because he didn’t want to feel so alone anymore? Because the dorm was unbearable? Because he was an omega and whether he liked it or not, he needed more comfort than he was getting? Or could it just simply be because Sunggyu was the leader and if the leader seemed to tolerate him even a little maybe the rest would come around?

As sappy as all that was, it didn’t seem right or completely true.

“Why now?” Sunggyu repeated.

“Because I missed you.” Woohyun felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest the moment the words fled his lips.

“You missed me?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Sunggyu said and Woohyun could feel him shrugging at his back.

“Okay?” he asked. “That’s it?”

“I get it. You missed me. You wanted a knot. It’s truthful.”

_What? Yes, true but also… WHAT!_

“I miss _you_. You, not just your knot.”

“And what am I supposed to do with that?”

“I don’t know.” He said, almost pouting. “I know you’ll never trust me again because I took things that you’d told me in private and used them in a fight… among other things, but I really miss you. I miss everyone. I’m so tired of being alone but more than that, I wish I could just go back and change everything. I wish I never went to YG or JYP. And when I did, I should have told you-”

“It’s okay.” Sunggyu said, rubbing Woohyun’s arms on his side as Woohyun realized he’d not been breathing as he’d been speaking for the past minute, rambling away in frustration. “It’s okay.” He repeated. “I don’t really hate you.”

“Yes, you do.” Woohyun cried, holding onto to one of Sunggyu’s stroking hands as tears gushed from his eyes, unbidden. “I came between you and Howon and then after that I tried to leave Big Dipper high and dry and then I-”

“Let’s not rehash all that.”

“Why not?” He wailed. “You’re only accommodating me because we’re knotted together and I’m weeping on your dick.”

And now Woohyun was crying in properly, wailing and tearing as Sunggyu made worried shushing sounds in his ear, aware that the rest of the house would surely be woken by Woohyun’s rubbish. But Woohyun couldn’t bring himself to stop. He’d spent so much time trying to prove he wasn’t a normal omega. He didn’t cry uselessly. He didn’t hug and fall all over people like Myungsoo. He could hold his own. He didn’t need an alpha. He was independent.

But it was all. So. Draining.

And now, sitting in this shower, receiving the barest of comforts, his emotions were all over the place as he continued to cry to Sunggyu’s attempt at calming him.

He eventually lost track of how long he’d been crying, but somehow, he’d managed to calm to the point of hiccoughs and quiet tears as Sunggyu continued to stroke his arm with the one hand not currently being crushed in Woohyun’s grip.

“I forgive you.”

“It’s that easy?”

“No.” Sunggyu said. “But I’m willing to be if this isn’t going to happen again.”

“Bold bet. I’m an omega, hyung. Who’s to say I won’t go off on you guys again?”

“Would you?”

He wouldn’t. He could honestly swear it. If this was what he’d have to go through if he didn’t learn to deal with his omega-ness in a less destructive manner, Woohyun was not sure he’d be able to survive another bout of silent treatment.

“I wouldn’t.”

“Good.” Sunggyu said. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Woohyun felt a soft brush of lips against the back of his neck and his eyes fluttered in happiness. It felt so familiar that he warmed at the affection.

“I’m sold on you being a reformed human being, Woohyun,”

“Buuut?” Woohyun asked.

“But what about the other members? What about Myungsoo?” _Don’t say it. Don’t say._ “What about-” _Don’t say it, I beg you._ “Sungyeol?”

And he said it.

“Tomorrow.” Woohyun said because when tomorrow came, he was going to nip this shit in the butt. He couldn’t do the anger anymore and he’d have to make it right with the members if any of this was going to work. “Tomorrow.” He repeated as he nodded.

“Tomorrow.” Sunggyu finally agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> To continue reading OTFDOI, click [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7697677/chapters/21911711)


End file.
